WLOLL :: New Media & Documentary Film Making :: Utterz & Seesmic

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Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Hope's Messengers Screening 1/30/09 in Boston

Teaser for Joe Pantoliano's documentary on mental illness. Joey Pants, founder and president of No Kidding, Me Too! (NKM2.org), is fighting the stigma on brain dis-ease. Coming in 2009. Teaser premiered on August 25, 2008 at the Democratic National Convention (DNC). Produced at Palace Digital Studios in South Norwalk, CT. Edited by Ben Churchill and David Russell. Executive Produced by Joe Pantoliano and Chris Campbell.

Go HERE to learn more about the screening and Joey's movement to remove the stigma from mental illness.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

1/30/09 Boston Screening :: No Kidding, Me Too! Removing the Stigma from Mental Illness. - Boston doc screening 1/30

Special Screening - NKM2 Documentary

Friday, January 30, 2009
6:30 PM - VIP-only Reception
7:15 PM - Screening and Discussion
Semel Theater at Emerson College
10 Boylston Place
Boston, MA

To purchase your ticket and attend this special screening of the NKM2 Documentary please complete the online form HERE.

I will attend. You?

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

"Human Land Mine" :: Sunstroke :: Nathaniel's, Greensburg, PA

.:. Winner .:.

That's my old pal, business partner, & collaborator Phil Platten on bass and vox.

A delight to revisit our collaborative work. We were called "Sunstroke" after a contest to name the band brought forth a few barely mentionable names. Gosh, something like "....Beaver Twins". Does anyone recall the third-place entry?

Would not have broached the material but for the fact that Phil moved on a year ago this month. And but for the fact that another bass player with whom I had a band also took flight.

[I could not bring myself to say that Phil and Dick expired the first or second draft of this post. Dare I say it now...but 'moving on' and 'taking flight' are two terms that seem correct for what happened to them.]

Dick Bungo: a consummate musician tho I don't remember him being in any of the bands, singing groups or orchestras in high school. Not much of a 'joiner' our Dick. Neither have I turned out to be.

This can only be considered a first draft of the video of the piece, for I will want it as part of the soundtrack for "The World's Longest Open Love Letter".

The lyrics remind me where was emotionally in December of 1980, when this was recorded. Can't yet quite get my mind around it but in the editing -- in the meditation that is editing -- am certain all will become quickly clear.

Miss my old friend, roommate and Nathaniel's owner Dave Clark. Where are ya, Dave?

The full performance from that night may be found HERE for download.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), Flash Video (.flv), MPEG-4 Video (.m4v)

Tags: music, phil platten, jan mclaughlin, sunstroke, greensburg, pennsylvania, pa, nathaniels, dave clark, wloll

The World's Longest Open Love Letter :: Showplayer

Getting all the short films gathered over the years into a coherent order.

It's making my brain explode.

Help!

Really need objective eyes and ears on this.


Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Capturing the Friedmans

A documentary created by the son of a pedophile, with the participation of the whole family.

Stunning.

Extraordinary.

Healing.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Behind the Scenes :: Four-Minute Ballet for Faux Press Corps, Celebrities & Disposable Cameras

.:. Survivor .:.

As titled.

It's a dinner party.

It's a parade.

An adventure.

It's the debut of the Faux Press.

It's a celebration of success.

It's a meditation on journalism, commerce, and celebrity.

It's honoring our gifts.

It's ritual.

It's dance.

It's a 'love action' - see Blow! Blow! Blow! for the definition of a 'love action'.

It's news.

Metaphrasty.

What in tarnation does this have to do with surviving depression?

Everything.

Music from Danny Payne.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), MPEG-4 Video (.m4v), Flash Video (.flv)

Tags: depression, surviving, healing, strategy, four-minute, ballet;, behind, the, scenes;, jan, mclaughlin;, kevin, mccutcheon;, plaza, hotel;, richard, kostelanetz;, judith, ross;, sharon, oconnell;, andrzej;, steve, bennett;, adam, merton, cooper;, eran;, lauren, moore;, rie, yamaguci;, co

Florida Poems :: Night People :: CONTENT WARNING

.:. Surviving .:.

WARNING :: Not WORK SAFE.

SUBJECT MATTER :: Finding the body.

Returning to the body.

Honoring the body.

Whew.

This was a rough one.

Somewhere in the healing process came the re-discovery of affection.

A comfort with it.

At some point, even the slightest touch beyond a handshake made me very nervous; a gentle hand on my arm literally 'burned'. It was terrifying.

PROCESS: I begin to collect the still images and art that seem relevant to this exercise of getting back to the body in order to better understand the historical context. To help my imperfect memories. These are the images you see 'under' the poem.

"....The search continues for 98.6 and a union of tongues...."

This is a subject of interest to folks whose bodies were hurt, regardless of whence the violence originated.

It's my theory that 'physical' therapy is important in this step, but something not easily addressed or tackled. I think I'm ready to approach that healing now.

How, where and with whom did you address this part of healing?

Courage.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Why Film Making? :: Anti-Isolation Device :: Motivation

Film making as anti-isolation device - weddings & weldings - parades - faux parade - hungry march band - brooklyn - get a hobby - when I lose heart - robert croma - dannypayne - media ripples - getting it out in music - vote of confidence - the cost of truth - painting on big canvases.

Mobile post sent by Jan / The Faux Press using Utterz. Replies. mp3

YouTube Mental Illness Community Thrives

Typed aloud earlier asking whether there wasn't a vibrant survivor community @ YouTube.

There is.

Have spent the last day or so working my way through the videos, collecting subscriptions and videos for later perusal and possible contact. Making a movie together gets us ALL out of isolation.

This is an extant community ready to speak.

Ready to - no- breaking the silence wide open.

His slideshow at the end - 20 Reasons Recovery is Impossible - applies to me, as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse as much as to anybody trying to make a difference in their quality of life.

From his post on the subject:

1. When we don’t search for help as 50% of social phobics!
2. When we don’t know that we have social phobia
3. When we don’t know that social phobia is a mental illness
4. When we think that we are the only ones
5. When we don’t have heard from recovery from others
6. When we isolate ourselves
7. When all we do is just complain about us
8. When we have tried a lot of “solutions” without any solution and then we give up
9. When we have tried wrong solutions for us
10. When we don’t initiate a recovery process
11. When we don’t search for a solution
12. When we think that it is too late and we are too old
13. When we think that recovery is to difficult
14. When we don’t work on our low self esteem
15. When we want to continue to live in our comfort zone
16. When we think that there is no solution for us
17. When we think that others have to help me
18. When we don’t know how to recover
19. When we don’t want to recover
20. When we don’t take responsibility for our recovery

Grassroots, yo.

[website]

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

An Invitation to Participate :: Documentary on Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse

.:. Survivor .:.

POST NOTE:

WARNING - mention of p*rps in the video.

Even to type the words 'Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse' in the title makes my stomach and brain go all fuzzy.

To make a documentary on the subject is the best way I can think of to confront the anxiety and fear. The best way to give back to the community of survivors.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), MPEG-4 Video (.m4v), Flash Video (.flv)

Tags: documentary, childhood, sexual, abuse, invitation, participate

Movie :: "Sex Crimes and the Vatican" from the BBC

Formerly available on Google in its entirety, this documentary follows survivors and speaks to the Catholic Church's cover up. Here's the trailer.

Watching films like this exacerbates depression, but it puts me in touch with the sadness and anger in such a way that I can - with effort - feel and deal. Not such a bad thing.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Documenting Depression :: CAUTION :: ONE S*XUAL IMAGE

Click to Play

CAUTION: about a minute in there's a kinda s*xual image. You might want to close your eyes if you're feeling raw.

I can usually pump out videos pretty darned quick. This one took a long time. It's not perfect. It feels dangerous.

Based on previous experience, seeing how whiney and pathetic I am when in the throes of depression will eventually help me understand its mechanics better.

I have a long-term documentary video project that I'm hoping this web site and the community that grows around it will help me finish. It's called "The World's Longest Open Love Letter" and was in its earliest states, a series of meditations on anger, then love, and now, on action.

Creating the "Anger" painting below opened me up to the possibility that art could help me heal.

Subscribers and visitors to this site as witnesses to the process of healing. Witnesses healed and grown by virtue of the gift of granting forgiveness to the innocent.

Lots of books, plays & films have been released in the last few years on the subject of the sexual exploitation of children by adults. I've already collected them and will share links to all of them here.

My "World's Longest Open Love Letter" project will be a day late and ten cents short, but the point is to make it. The point is the process of making it.

Wish me luck.

Quicktime Download

The World's Longest Open Love Letter :: Introduction

Click To Play

I'm a survivor of early childhood trauma.

For a long time, that trauma colored life in shades of grey. Finally figured out that in order to change in the deep ways required, I would have to take extreme measures.

Though I might not have characterized it so at the time, Behavior Modification was the answer.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

Here is an excerpt from some of the documentary footage of art and performance as Behavior Modification.

The art installations and performances conducted from 2000-2003 were all continuing meditations on the nature of love, and how to combat isolation, deprivation, & lack of trust in self and other.

Movie :: Capturing the Friedmans

Play Quicktime Version of the Trailer

Capturing the Friedmansis available on DVD or to rent from a Netflix.

It's one of the most important films on the subject of p*dophilia I've yet seen.

This will likely get me into trouble, but I - as a survivor - need to understand something of the p*dophile on a human level in order to go more deeply into forgiveness. Before forgiveness, comes understanding.

Yeah. Ew. Well...

Forgiveness is a HUGE barrier to recovery. As important as forgiving the p*rpetrator, is forgiving the self.

HERE is the "Capturing the Friedmans" web site.

HERE is a review from Rotten Tomatoes that captures bytes of folks' reactions to the film.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression